This is a realisation that I had last week when I attended a seminar at work on Friday given by the Girl’s Guide to Business… it was quite simple but it came as a surprise to me. I always thought I was good at it! I wanted to share in case it strikes a tone with anyone else…
I have a lot of friends, in fact 943 of them on Facebook (yes I know them all personally), and I get on well with 90% of people that I work with – I always thought that this meant that I am naturally a good networker but after listening to the wise words of Caitlin and Kim I realise that when it comes to networking I fall into the same trap that many women do.
Women are allegedly natural networkers but despite the fact that we speak 20,000 words a day opposed to the 7,000 of men, the men still have bigger networks. After listening to the girls, I realise that this discrepancy lies in our inability to separate a social event to a networking opportunity whereas men treat networking as a science.
Most of my network is built up of people that I have got to know over a period of time or a series of occasions. I have left many events thinking how nice all the people where, how funny they were and how pleasant my evening was but I rarely leave somewhere with new connections made just on that night. If there is someone that interests me I just hope that they remember me next time that they see me. Apparently this is where I am going wrong, although I think I am a good networker – I am rubbish.
Another reason why I as a woman am a terrible networker is because I suffer from “impostor syndrome” – common in a lot of women. Suffering from impostor syndrome means that you feel like “I don’t really know what I am doing” or “I’ll fake it until I get caught” and in terms of networking – “why would they want to meet me” and “why would they want to network with me – what do I have to give”. Men don’t seem to experience this in the same extent as women and to be honest, no woman should suffer it…it is for the others to decide, not you.
I am sharing this realisation in myself as it surprised me. I was so sure that I had networking skills “ticked off” as one of my strengths but the way they put it made me realise I was so wrong. I now know that I need to learn a little from men in this circumstance and treat networking as a more conscious activity – not as far as being a science- but need to make sure that I am making connections when it counts and not just having a good time.
